क्यूँकी राह में धूप तो होगी

स्वप्न देखा नहीं जाता महसूस किया जाता है

इसमें शब्दों का खेल नहीं वरन रक्त और पसीने का मेल किया जाता है 

ऐसा वक़्त भी आता है जब गिरने पर दर्द को भी दर्द का भान नहीं होता

कई बार हारने पर भी जीत की उम्मीद छूटने का ज्ञान नहीं होता 

मौत खडी हो लक्ष्य के दरमियाँ फिर भी सांस नहीं रूकती

परिस्थितियाँ कहते थक जाएँ पर 'एक बार फिर' कोशिश  करने की प्यास नहीं बुझती 

और तुम कहते हो की हम रुक जाएं

क्यूँकी राह में धूप तो होगी 

स्वप्न महसूस करना कोई जज्बात की बात नहीं

ये तो खुद की खुद से जंग है कायरों को मिलने वाली सस्ती सौगात नहीं 

व्यापार  में लाभ हानि तो व्यापारी  देखते हैं 

सपनों के लिए लड़ने वालों को व्यापरी के तराजू में नहीं तौलते हैं 

धूप छाँव क्या चीज़ है ये तो सूरज के अस्तितिव को भी नहीं पूजते है 

जो अपने स्वप्न के लिए जीते हैं वो जीवन का मृत्यु को भी रीझते है

और तुम कहते हो की हम रुक जाएं

क्यूँकी राह में धूप तो होगी

Will we actually 'owe' it ?

While most of us mourned death of innocent people in Mumbai blasts and criticized the government for its "non-intelligent intelligence' which seldom succeeds in getting information about terror attacks, I was more terrified by an incident; which perhaps will never appear (Atleast on front page) on newspaper and news channels 

Today we had meeting of subgroup of the cooperative and I got to know that meeting cannot be organized because Grandson of one member of the cooperative is seriously ill since last 3 days. We went to her home and saw the the kid. This kid is less than one year old and was looking pale. We inquired and got to know that they had taken the kid to nearby community health center (CHC) but there was no improvement in the health and therefore they decided to use their traditional/spiritual method for treatment.We somehow convinced them to again consult the doctor and took the kid along with her grand mother. Upon reaching the CHC, we showed the kid to the doctor on duty, he said this child is seriously malnourished and immediately needs to be referred to Cuttack Hospital. He asked for earlier prescription and then we got to know that 3 days back when they had shown the kid to the doctor he had also advised same thing but they had not adhered to it. Nevertheless the doctor  instructed us to get saline to be put before ambulance was arranged. 

Till now everything for me was normal, but perhaps God wanted me to witness something which I'll never forget.

After getting saline, when nurse was about to put in the injection, she saw marks of burning on the kid's hand and then saw it on legs and neck too. The community here doesn't believe in modern medicine, quite possible that only out of someone;s force that they had visited doctor earlier but then as they didn't believe in it they didnt follow the instructions of the doctor and the kid;s condition further deteriorated.  Like most of you who are reading this post, I was unaware of how traumatic this traditional treatment is. Now what the traditional treatment is, they believe that people become ill only when some evil soul enters the body and for removing this evil soul we need to torture the body and so they burn the body with hot iron and this less than one year kid had those marks!!!

I am not going to blame NIA or CBI for this. Perhaps even FBI or Interpol also cannot detect the terror which that kid and many alike him go through (let them be spared for mumbai attacks). But yes I am certainly going to ask questions to the learned , to the doctors, to the engineers and and to my other 'relatively' well off friends can we give sometime and try to remove out this 'terror'. It need not be in Orissa, could be any where. Ofcourse Dr. Manmohan singh and his brigade or for that matter anyone else in his position can be put to blame for the 'terror' which I shared but still somewhere we all 'common people' owe a responsibility.

Will we actually 'owe' it ?

Relation between my Roti and Dr.Manmohan Singh

 Finally after rice, dal and sabji I was forced to venture into cooking the last item-Roti as the nearby eatery stopped preparing chapati for me.

I thought it would be an easy task but somehow gave many feelings which perhaps only Dr Manmohan Singh can sense while managing the affairs of this vast nation. Process started with mixing water in the wheat flour. It was as if many regional parties need to be brought together and form UPA so that well balanced flour is set in. Initially I poured less water, perhaps the way Dr. Manmohan Singh wanted to keep left and 'behenji of north and amma of south' out of the coalition but soon found to my dismay that flour will not set in unless more water is poured. Therefore following Dr. Manmohan singh I added more water, but as he was inexperienced at handling 'more parties' my flour became wet like  a liquid paste. Neverthless 'manthan' continued and while accommodating different corners, added more flour after learning from dear Prime minister to create more ministerial berths. With some pushes and pulls with the 'liquid paste' and additional wheat flour, flour started giving a well balanced look. However as time proved to Dr. Manmohan singh that this 'apparent' better look was nothing more than 'apparent'. Once I started rolling it into small round pieces, I realized that there was not enough elasticity and Mamtaji forced to get Railway Ministry. Moment it was put on 'chauki' A Raja started his show. South South came together and Roti started taking shape of India. At one corner I had Jammu and Kashmir where as at other end there was North east joined by a very small connecting route to the 'hindi' mainland. Neverthless efforts continued to take the map as a 'unified' but still a 'federal' nation. However there came a turning moment. Erstwhile Andhra Pradesh in the roti brokeout and Telangana supporters got separated, your own MP's resigned . Finally Dr Manmohan singh sent his most reliable people to pacify the matter ofcourse as a patch work. I too added some paste of flour in the adjoining Andhra Pradesh and tried to form a Telangana. This made first raw 'roti' but not sure whether even formation of Telangana will make this roti and my nation look better from development perspective. All the while my mother kept instructing me on phone and I kept following as you do obediently to UPA Chairperson Sonia Gandhi

Journey however was destined at something else. Perhaps Dr. Manmohan singh is not destined for peaceful life. Moment Chapati was put in 'tawa' it got divided into three parts. One appeared representing foreign diplomacy policy towards USA for terrrorism, other representing inflation with rising petroleum prices and third civil society anguish against corruption. With time "tawa' was getting hot and cooking the three pieces together was becoming difficult. While Dr. Manmohan Singh focussed on foreign policy, civil society representative Anna Hazare started his anshan and this part got 'roasted to black', third part was left unattended and remained raw. After doing some 'ulat pulat' for 10-15 min, I took out all the three pieces assuming them to be still one Roti.

Wish it was one Roti. Neverthless I was happy with the first roti, immediately called back home and shared this success story to my father. However much alike supreme court of India, he didnt believe that I could prepare first roti of my life. May God bless Dr. Manmohan Singh.
Dear Prime Minister I don't appreciate you but I do sympathize with your situation . you are perhaps still better among the worst available options as eatery had stopped preparing chapati and in all possible cases it's better to eat raw/burnt roti than sleeping without food !

That Kid: Interval between thoughts

There are moments in life, when everything and almost everything seems to get blocked. We get locked in situations where nothing seems possible. Things take so much bad shape that taking a step forward appears ruining the purpose of the entire journey covered till now. And its not just one or two or three things which appear to bother us but almost everything we are connected to seems to get chained up by series of circumstances. These circumstances make us feel that nothing is possible. Nothing can be done. It's all over.

Perhaps its not. Perhaps it can never be all over. It's just a moment may be a minute long, an hour long, a day long or some years long but it can never be all over. Recall the cast of a kid you were, you could just mumble few words , could walk  few steps and make limited set of expressions which either were considered as smile or tears but still you made sure that you could make your parents and elder siblings understand your needs. You made sure to force them to give you a horse ride, you could force them to get chocolate of your choice. Under all circumstances your ability to come out of situations is not constrained more than that what you had then as a kid. 

When you feel its all over, its just because you have lost the 'kid' within you who was eager to en-route the entire world when he just learnt the little steps, you have the lost the 'kid' within you who wanted to speak all the words in all the possible languages when he just learnt to say Ma, you have lost the 'kid' who strongly believed that his innocent wishes once made made they will be fulfilled under all circumstances and if not he'll ensure no one else in the family sleeps without making those wishes complete. That kid is no one else, its you, its the fighter within you, its the fighter who again has to rise up and make sure that the wishes, the dreams are fulfilled irrespective of what happens outside.

Will that kid rise again ?

15 min and 58 days

'Title of the post' might surprise a bit because normally smaller unit follows the larger unit but here days are following the minutes.

Today is another important day of my life. Nothing special, just that I could get the registered deed of the 9th experiment COIT which was hanging with Sub-registrar's office since last 58 days and these 15 minutes again reaffirmed my faith on strength of 'ethics and integrity'.

My friend's father who stays in Bhubaneswar had been following up with the sub-registrar's office, however everytime the 'responsible (?)' person/s were either not available or made claims that deed registration is not completed yet. Last time when he visited he was told that deed is lost by the office.

Perhaps the root lied in my approach for registration. I didn't use any of the agents sitting outside the registration building who take commissions, part of which goes to 'transparent' registering officials. I had prepared the deed on own and applied for registration. I knew the path was going to be tough. I knew they will delay the process. I knew that delay might hamper my beloved Mayurbhanj experiment as contributions coming for the experiment from friends and professors will not reach the trust account as without registration I cannot open the trust's bank account. But I knew one thing, since I am following up the legal and ethical process I'll get it done.

Today I visited the office again perhaps like "Angry young man" of 1980's films. Requested the authorities for 5 minutes and as usual the response/s varied from one official to other that registration of deed is not complete yet ...........to deed is lost. And then I returned back to seat one and told the official that I am now giving 10 more minutes and if I don;t get my registered deed I am going to file the RTI and approach the Collector as I have recorded all the versions of reply from different officers on my cell phone. Then came the turn around. This official appeared worried, immediately left his seat and asked me to follow. We entered other room and requested second official in the computer room to give my deed and this second person said that concerned 'responsible' person is absent and so I cannot get deed today. I reiterated my sentence in simple hindi and added that whatever he said is also recorded in the audio file (meanwhile first official briefed him about my stand). And this second official immediately left his seat, took my receipt and checked my acknowledgement number and said your registration was completed 50 days back and your file is lying in the "old files" record. It will be difficult to trace it, you should have come earlier. I just smiled and said now 3 more minutes are left, tell me whether you can trace the deed. Both of them went to third official, had some discussion and COIT's trust deed was taken out from 'carefully' kept almirah. So finally I could get the 'glimpse' of the registered deed with numerous seals and signature. I thought the struggle was over and I'll get the deed. However came another turning moment. One more official came and told me, this deed has been lying with us for 58 days and so you to pay rent for it. I said I am ready to pay all the rent, provided you give me the receipt of the rent. Officer looked puzzled and said in broken hindi 'is rent ki receipt nahin milta' (you cannot get receipt of this rent). I told him fine,  I am not going to pay this rent without receipt and I am recorded your request for rent and this will be soon shared with the media. I was about to leave the place. Other 3 officials came around  hurriedly and  told me to that I can take my deed without any rent.

And thus after 58 days and 15 minutes I got what 'constitution of India' entitles me to get in 7 days and 'constitution of bribe" in 2 days. May be this exercise was futile. May be this was just a waste of time and energy which perhaps could have been invested in the Mayurbhanj experiment. May be this will not change the way "sub-registrar's" office works or for that matter any other government department with authority to give license/registration works. I know I cannot play likes of Anna Hazare or Baba Ramdev and struggle to get corruption removed across the nation. What I know is I am still uncompromised on my stand that my path will remain clean and I am within ambit of the vow that I have till date not given a single paisa as bribe. I know that whatever little road I walk on I will ensure the foot prints never smell unethical. I don't intend to clean the entire system, I am perhaps not capable of . When I see condition of Dr. Manmohan Singh, I wonder if a honest PM like him cannot do, it would be next to impossible for a feeble common man like me. I know and understand that being a common man I cannot change everything. And therefore I have decided to do what a 'common man' can do. I don't intend to sit and blame others for non performance of the extra bit which this society, country and world as a whole needs. I can do small constructive things and with God's grace I am doing. But at the same time I also understand my responsibility that those "small constructive things" must be done "ethically". Wish this common man stands truthful in other similar "58 days tests" and enforce those "15 minutes" across all the experiments.

Good or Bad perhaps doesn't emanate from top, it has its roots at the bottom and bottom in all cases is occupied by 'common man' like us. We need to stop corruption at our individual levels from TC in train to traffic policeman on road, and we need to stop 'just' blaming government for whatever problems we see, perhaps only then we may create a much better society. It pains when I hear crores of rupees being siphoned off by xyz ministers, but it certainly pains more when I see individuals like us paying 100-200 bucks to get our work done. Reason is simple, common man on street never goes for applying for 2G license but he definitely goes for getting a ticket , a driving license... and that is where we the relatively bettor off's create a 'bribe system' which he/she might not be able to afford. This is where I intend to strike in whatever path I am traversing through. It's simple 'every man is Lokpal'.

Tomorrow I'll try to get the bank account of COIT opened and with that perhaps the long wait for many of my friends who wanted to support the Mayurbhanj experiment will be able to perform their 'common' bit!