15 min and 58 days

'Title of the post' might surprise a bit because normally smaller unit follows the larger unit but here days are following the minutes.

Today is another important day of my life. Nothing special, just that I could get the registered deed of the 9th experiment COIT which was hanging with Sub-registrar's office since last 58 days and these 15 minutes again reaffirmed my faith on strength of 'ethics and integrity'.

My friend's father who stays in Bhubaneswar had been following up with the sub-registrar's office, however everytime the 'responsible (?)' person/s were either not available or made claims that deed registration is not completed yet. Last time when he visited he was told that deed is lost by the office.

Perhaps the root lied in my approach for registration. I didn't use any of the agents sitting outside the registration building who take commissions, part of which goes to 'transparent' registering officials. I had prepared the deed on own and applied for registration. I knew the path was going to be tough. I knew they will delay the process. I knew that delay might hamper my beloved Mayurbhanj experiment as contributions coming for the experiment from friends and professors will not reach the trust account as without registration I cannot open the trust's bank account. But I knew one thing, since I am following up the legal and ethical process I'll get it done.

Today I visited the office again perhaps like "Angry young man" of 1980's films. Requested the authorities for 5 minutes and as usual the response/s varied from one official to other that registration of deed is not complete yet ...........to deed is lost. And then I returned back to seat one and told the official that I am now giving 10 more minutes and if I don;t get my registered deed I am going to file the RTI and approach the Collector as I have recorded all the versions of reply from different officers on my cell phone. Then came the turn around. This official appeared worried, immediately left his seat and asked me to follow. We entered other room and requested second official in the computer room to give my deed and this second person said that concerned 'responsible' person is absent and so I cannot get deed today. I reiterated my sentence in simple hindi and added that whatever he said is also recorded in the audio file (meanwhile first official briefed him about my stand). And this second official immediately left his seat, took my receipt and checked my acknowledgement number and said your registration was completed 50 days back and your file is lying in the "old files" record. It will be difficult to trace it, you should have come earlier. I just smiled and said now 3 more minutes are left, tell me whether you can trace the deed. Both of them went to third official, had some discussion and COIT's trust deed was taken out from 'carefully' kept almirah. So finally I could get the 'glimpse' of the registered deed with numerous seals and signature. I thought the struggle was over and I'll get the deed. However came another turning moment. One more official came and told me, this deed has been lying with us for 58 days and so you to pay rent for it. I said I am ready to pay all the rent, provided you give me the receipt of the rent. Officer looked puzzled and said in broken hindi 'is rent ki receipt nahin milta' (you cannot get receipt of this rent). I told him fine,  I am not going to pay this rent without receipt and I am recorded your request for rent and this will be soon shared with the media. I was about to leave the place. Other 3 officials came around  hurriedly and  told me to that I can take my deed without any rent.

And thus after 58 days and 15 minutes I got what 'constitution of India' entitles me to get in 7 days and 'constitution of bribe" in 2 days. May be this exercise was futile. May be this was just a waste of time and energy which perhaps could have been invested in the Mayurbhanj experiment. May be this will not change the way "sub-registrar's" office works or for that matter any other government department with authority to give license/registration works. I know I cannot play likes of Anna Hazare or Baba Ramdev and struggle to get corruption removed across the nation. What I know is I am still uncompromised on my stand that my path will remain clean and I am within ambit of the vow that I have till date not given a single paisa as bribe. I know that whatever little road I walk on I will ensure the foot prints never smell unethical. I don't intend to clean the entire system, I am perhaps not capable of . When I see condition of Dr. Manmohan Singh, I wonder if a honest PM like him cannot do, it would be next to impossible for a feeble common man like me. I know and understand that being a common man I cannot change everything. And therefore I have decided to do what a 'common man' can do. I don't intend to sit and blame others for non performance of the extra bit which this society, country and world as a whole needs. I can do small constructive things and with God's grace I am doing. But at the same time I also understand my responsibility that those "small constructive things" must be done "ethically". Wish this common man stands truthful in other similar "58 days tests" and enforce those "15 minutes" across all the experiments.

Good or Bad perhaps doesn't emanate from top, it has its roots at the bottom and bottom in all cases is occupied by 'common man' like us. We need to stop corruption at our individual levels from TC in train to traffic policeman on road, and we need to stop 'just' blaming government for whatever problems we see, perhaps only then we may create a much better society. It pains when I hear crores of rupees being siphoned off by xyz ministers, but it certainly pains more when I see individuals like us paying 100-200 bucks to get our work done. Reason is simple, common man on street never goes for applying for 2G license but he definitely goes for getting a ticket , a driving license... and that is where we the relatively bettor off's create a 'bribe system' which he/she might not be able to afford. This is where I intend to strike in whatever path I am traversing through. It's simple 'every man is Lokpal'.

Tomorrow I'll try to get the bank account of COIT opened and with that perhaps the long wait for many of my friends who wanted to support the Mayurbhanj experiment will be able to perform their 'common' bit!

Cooperatives are a failure story !

Yesterday I was having telephonic discussion with a close friend. Arguments shifted towards cooperatives survival and their real effectiveness. He confidently argued that cooperatives across the world are a failure story!

Well so is democracy! But should we do away with or try to see what makes cooperatives not achieve the real intended benefit to the member (farmer or primary producer). What makes them a "poor social collective business proposition".

Some statistics which people arguing 'for' cooperatives often quote

#Colombia's second-largest employer is a health-care co-operative.

#In Kuwait, 80 percent of retail sales are run by co-ops.

#In Bolivia a quarter of all savings are held by a single co-operative credit union.                                                                      #Within India we find the "Amul" which recently touched 2 billion $ business. 

#And perhaps we cannot forget Mondragon Cooperative Corporation, Spain's major business enterprise.

Critics might argue that these are exceptions. Yes they indeed are and  the successful with failed ones constitute 750 million people around the world as member of cooperatives. We need to understand that Cooperative at the end of the day is a "business", business supposed to be run collectively by hundreds or thousands of 'primary producers/workers", owned by them and surplus to be shared according to the labor contributed and not on the basis of capital. We need to understand that Cooperative being a business of the poor, poor not just economically but socially as well; needs special attention. Cooperatives unlike private counterparts cannot be made success in a day. There is a huge transaction cost which comes into picture when we attempt to form a collective enterprise. This transaction cost includes mobilizing people, stictching the diverse interest in a common fabric and above all ensuring that 'business' atleast becomes 'business like' in local rural conditions. This is a like 'threshold energy' binding electron within the atom, once that is crossed, once "cooperators" ensure that members start taking 'ownership' of the cooperative, there is nothing else which can stop the cooperative from being a success. Most of the "Amitabh Bacchan's" of development film tend to take it too fast. It cannot happen this way.

We need to remember that PV=nRT exists only for understanding, in real life specially in social settings which are occupied with century old backwardness only practical form available is
 
When I argue so 'stubbornly' for cooperatives, its not a fanaticism for "cooperative" but for a belief that rural poor have the ability to circumvent vicious circle of poverty. Only thing hindering them is their limited resources which with little external 'catalytic' support can be enhanced by bringing them together as a  collective business.  I, in person don;t see any other development paradigm which can make them better off without compromising on issues of 'equity' and 'parity'. If we don't believe in their ability, we have perhaps gone too pessimistic in ascertaining the worth of God's most intelligent creation.

Yes I Plead Guilty

When I had started this blog, had an intention of keeping my life a transparent open book where thoughts whether good or bad, actions whether good or bad and finally experiments whether good or bad will get reflected across. Time to plead guilty!

Was returning back from field on bike when a person on a bicycle suddenly crossed the road. Tried avoiding a direct hit but still the cycle got touched in the rear and the men with his son fell down. Nothing odd in this, accidents are called accidents because they happen unplanned with mistake from either side. What I felt bad was emergence of a thought that I should move ahead without bothering to see the status of the man and his child as I was getting late. Surprisingly this thought turned into action as well and  I moved about half a kilometer. No one would have caught me, but somewhere deep within the incident pinched  and I returned back. It further added to my guilt when I found that the child was physically challenged. Person had a minor injury on the knee perhaps while saving his child from falling down. Took the person and his child to nearby hospital and got some pain killers for them. Dropped him to his home and gave  my phone number to let me know if pain doesnt subside and further medication is needed.

God saved me from committing this moral blunder.
 Still I plead guilty for the 'thought' of moving ahead after the accident.

Monsoon enters Orissa but .....

Its so serene to view the dark clouds outside pouring rain drops. Perhaps some of us must be enjoying this with old melodies "Rimjhim gire sawan..." with a cup of tea.
But then comes a thought about a fellow member of Marshal Cooperative in Mayurbhanj, for whom entry of Monsoon must be filled with two opposing thoughts. One hand he must be happy that sowing on fields will start and at other end, there must be worry of keeping his produce preserved in the hut with rain water seeping from the thatched roof. Yes this dichotomy in thoughts is true for any rural poor.

But there is a difference in the current context, there are 500 families who happen to be member of the cooperative experiment in Mayurbhanj. These families don't seek your help for repairing their thatched roof. They neither want space in your house for the rainy season. They have a bigger dream. They want to reach to a level where they can repair their house from their own earnings. They want to ensure that their children have a better life. They no longer want to be sympathetically addressed as 'poor' and that is the reason they have come together as a collective which we see as "Marshal Cooperative".

While this is true, like a child envisaging its first walk, it needs to be supported in the endeavor of doing business together for gaining the real share from the value chain. They need to be facilitated in adding more families as members of the cooperative for reaching "threshold volumes" so that they can cost-effectively sell their produce and earn what their efforts mean to them. They need to be facilitated in setting up the production unit so that they can earn  more by value addition to their produce. One hand they have agreed to put in their limited resources for 'working capital' of the collective business, but on other hand they find their resources limited for supporting salary of two field staff's who are doing social mobilization in other villages. One of them has agreed to give 2 acre of land for the production unit but they don;t have sufficient resources to actually set the machines.

Will you help them?  http://www.coit.in/cexperiment.html

The 9th Experiment

What do we do when our dreams receive a major set back and we are on the verge of leaving that dream? We perhaps give a last try and approach our near and dear ones . Mayurbhanj Cooperative experiment was no exception! With presence of caring friends and beloved professors the experiment is still on

Sometimes solution of problems make us realize that we cannot remain selfish. When we have received help in the hour of crises for our dreams, we must ensure that we extend a small hand for supporting others who perhaps might be in similar situation. Now its time to expand this zone to other similar experiments where plausibly network of such caring friends and professors doesn't exist  and those dreamers have to leave their dreams of serving the community halfway . The 9th Experiment "Community Owned Initiative Trust" (Coit) comes into formal existence now.  Coit  is born to support similar initiatives which are left stranded due to lack of institutional funding as would have happened with Mayurbhanj experiment if friends had not come forward. This trust will seek support from individuals in small amounts and work only with "Community Owned Organizations". 

 Mayurbhanj experiment-Marshal Cooperative will  be now onward institutionally managed by Coit as its first assignment.  More details about Coit can be seen here http://www.coit.in/index.html . We seek your help in spreading the word about Coit.

And the Big news

This day perhaps marks one the biggest milestones for the Mayurbhanj Cooperative experiment. Mayurbhanj Cooperative experiment was based on slightly different premise. Conventionally in Cooperatives, cooperative purchases the produce from members and then sells it at a later stage (with or without processing) for better returns to members. This necessitates the need for high cost working capital for purchasing the produce which is mostly borrowed from market or taken as grant from a funding agency.  Essentially this means that members sell 'to' the cooperative instead of 'through' the cooperative. When we began the experiment, we had some fundamental questions in mind

a) Can cooperatives (which are essentially business of the poor) be run without single paisa borrowing from market? This is not say that borrowing for business is bad, but more because poor are vulnerable and high cost working capital in case of loss can put them in vicious poverty cycle. Moreover when Cooperatives or for that matter any business begins, all external loaning agencies are reluctant to give loan and this puts cooperatives at back foot with regard to the volume they cater in their foundation years

b) If cooperative is business of the poor, can people not pool in their resources in cash and kind and run it for better returns from the market? Essentially this means that Cooperative truly becomes their business and they don't sell 'to' the cooperative but 'through' the cooperative

We are yet to explore the firm and final answers but first glimpse of the color after end of 'titration' shows that approach as worked. After collectively selling 96 quintals at village cooperative level for meeting immediate cash needs, the 'contributed' produce close to 100 quintals being sold today at almost double the current market price and without single paisa loan taken from market. More is yet to come, but the preliminary results presents before us a new approach to community enterprise building with small resources which villagers already have.

I am personally indebted to those who had helped us from falling down and leaving the cooperative experiment in the April turmoil. Specially thanks to Prof DP Mishra (IRMA) and Prof J. Banerjee (NIT Surat) and my close buddies Ashirbad, Suman, Ajita, Robin, Nirav, Bhavishya, Rachana, Ankur, Parthav, Abhishek, Sudhin, Avinash, Durgesh, Digyavijay, Sworen (&team), Sunayana, Vinay whose suport both moral and financial has kept the experiment going.  Many thanks to the onces whose good wishes have kept the confidence up in the midst of the shaking period.

Perhaps God gave us the 'possibility' and our task is to make it 'possible'

The interval between thoughts

True that when v follow our dreams, path is tough, often lonely and most importantly no roads to guide to the destination but its equally true that when v do that monday morning's never remain post weekend blues, there is a twinkle in the eyes even in the midst of problems, there is a bubble within which propels us when there is a steep slope to climb, there is a different level of energy which pulls out when rationality says its not possible, there is different time dimension which never lets us feel when we were at work and when at leisure, even if small but v get a different team which doesn't work 10-6 and for the pay cheque they receive at month end but for the shared goal, even when there are not big resources there are small helping hands who share their small savings with care and trust, there is an enlightened intuition to make new roads when there are no roads for traversing across to the destination and most importantly a faith which transcends conventional wisdom and creates an entirely new set of values for the society .

But the question is: then why most of us don't opt for it?, No this question is not right, we all opt for our dreams at some or the other point in life, only error we all do is we ourselves don't persevere for it. Perseverance is the price this twinkle in eyes, this bubble, this different level of energy, this different team, this new resource, this enlightened intuition seeks.

The question therefore is
Will the faith on our dreams continue, 'next time'?

What's there in d name ! Mayurbhanj Coop experiment

Efforts in the Mayurbhanj Cooperative experiment have started yielding results. Results not just at the physical and financial level but to the larger objective of creating true ownership of poor over their business.

Existing 'promoters' board of Disha Cooperative didn't allow the villagers board to take over, therefore with community decision a new federation 'Marshal Cooperative' is legally set in with democratically elected 11 member board. All 15 functional village level cooperatives have joined in the Marshal Cooperative. So here on experiment of Mayurbhanj will be recognized as "Marshal Cooperative" .(Surprised at hearing an English word given by village members, wait....its a Santhali word meaning 'Ojaswi' (enlightened).

First patronage distribution (profit over and above market price) was given over to the villagers in Gaipani Village. This was on the 10% amount sold at village level, 90% is scheduled to go to Godown for much higher returns to primary collectors. Though this amount of patronage share was not very high, but symbolically its very important as it marks the first strike on the existing market mechanisms which feels that poor cannot do business and claim their share in the value chain. I felt so happy, moments of "Manthan" and"Mamuliram" movies showed during induction at IRMA came out vividly!

Forest department has consented the efforts with the Marshal Cooperative, have asked us to prepare a detailed report for production unit, they'll try to support machineries to the tune of 5 Lakh. On other front one member has contributed his 2 acre non cultivable land at token fees for the production unit cum  "Hut Office". The place is very serene surrounded on two sides by forest, perhaps very much suitable for an Ashram if  Mohandas Gandhi was alive today.

Expansion to new villages will begin towards month end. I thank one and all specially my Professors at IRMA who have come forward, believed in the experiment when Institutional support was withdrawn.  Perhaps God wanted it to be a truly people's initiative.  Wish to facilitate creation of a 'mini Anand' in Mayurbhanj !

दूसरा सिरा

जिंदगी के इस मोड़ की कहानी सुनाऊं कैसे 

चरखा भी है धागा भी है फिर भी सपनो की चादर बनाऊं कैसे 

चादर आधी बन ही पायी थी की धागा उलझ गया

उलझा ऐसे जैसे दूसरा सिरा कहीं गुम  हो गया

दूसरा सिरा नहीं मिला फिर चरखा चलाऊं कैसे

आधी चादर फिर से खोल पहला सिरा लाऊं  कैसे

इस उलझे धागे की उलझन में पड़े मन को समझाऊं कैसे 

सपनों की चादर बनाऊं कैसे 

जिंदगी की इस उलझन के दोराहे पर बैठा वो सोच रहा था 

कभी चरखे कभी उलझे धागे को देख रहा था

तभी उस उलझे धागे ने दी पुकार 

जीवन के धागे की नियति है उलझना बार बार

इसकी उलझन पर जीवन का चरखा न रुकने देना मेरे यार

सिरा न मिले दो धागा तोड़ कर नया सिरा बना लो कहीं 

क्यूंकि कोई चादर बिना धागे के टूटे और जुड़े बिना बनती नहीं  

धागे की उलझन को तोड़ चरखा चलाओ दिल  से 

सपनो की चादर बनाने लग जाओ फिर से 

 

Hearing ear to Heart

Life often brings us at  a juncture, where we are left stranded by the ones who have promised to help and ones who even initiated steps along with us for the common goal, the goal which some of us call as the dream and  some passion. This inflexion in the curve of life perhaps cannot be captured by any polynomial equation derived by even the best of the best mathematicians of the era. We stand with two choices, either to leave the dream and passion because the major supporting hands are gone or to move ahead and make another try.

This is where lies the truest test of  our belief on our own dreams, belief that god will either give us a pedestal to hang on or will teach us to fly, belief that even if the door of opportunity has closed and there is no sneaking possible from the opaque window, there is something called 'hope' which sees beyond the wall of hurdle, belief that if there are great people and best institutions who can leave us in between there are at the same time common friends and teachers whom we have perhaps forgotten but who still believe in us and believe in our dreams, belief that there is a greater picture in making which just needs drawing a small dot by us and once that dot is put on the paper the picture is complete.

This belief is very special, special because no test of rationality will ever testify it has true, special because no logical arguments for or against will ever be conclusive and even more special because it comes only when we give a "hearing ear to the heart".

Are we hearing!!

Sharing the dreams

Perhaps last few days had been the toughest phase of my life in person and as development professional for the cooperative experiment in Mayurbhanj. Sudden resignation from the organization I was employed with, retrenchment of the two field staffs from their existing set up, arranging salary for them and looking for some suitable job to hang on.


As they say, whatever happens happens for a reason and its always for our wellbeing. Things have started settling down. Friends, batchmates, juniors, seniors and Professors supported the initiative and while I was thanking each of them one reply which touched me to the core was
"

me: thanks for coming out for help at this crucial time dear

10:34 AM Robin: this is not help dude...

  this is sharing the dream ... n we are doing the easiest part :)

  God is with you...we are nothing ..

10:35 AM me: :)"
Perhaps this makes it truly the people's initiative where on one hand villagers pool in small money and produce to get better returns from the market mechanisms and at other end individuals from their small savings contribute so that facilitation of this first time process happens smoothly.
 I was just thinking over what Robin (my batchmate in IRMA) said "Sharing the Dream". Should we not take this beyond. I was blessed to have wonderful agents (read friends) of God who supported me and pulled me out of this odd situation. I would have definitely quit if this support hadn't come. I am sure there would be many such initiatives going on elsewhere and its quite possible that the facilitators there might not be having such network and caring friends. I was discussing with few of my friends and will soon register a trust fund which will be "by the community and for the community owned initiatives". This fund will not work with NGO's but directly with initiatives owned and controlled by community (example cooperatives, producer company etc.). It will have a clause whereby community initiatives which are left stranded due to gap in donor funding will be supported directly and once the community owned enterprise/organization stabilizes they can contribute back to this community fund so that it can be used again by a new set up. This fund will also be accompanied by professional assistance to the community owned institutions.
This trust fund will assist Marshal Disha Cooperative as its first experiment and will gradually try to evolve across geographical areas of the country. Just initial thoughts, will decide something firmly soon!!
ना  हार  से  ना  जीत  से
बस  केवल  एक  उम्मीद  से
वक़्त के पन्नों पर कुछ लिखता मिटाता हूँ
गीत नया गाता हूँ

Not Jobless but Salary-less !!

Not Jobless (Disha moves on) but definitely Salary less:) -Resigned from Winrock!!

It was 30th May 2007 when I had put papers with General Motors to take on career in the development sector . Yesterday took another baby step towards the objective. With Winrock deciding to discontinue its support for the Cooperative experiment,I decided to discontinue from Winrock. Thanks to one and all who have and who are supporting the Mayurbhanj experiment in this transition phase.

The Saga at the backdrop!

               Last 4-5 days I had been travelling across all the villages where village cooperative branches are formed. I interacted with them, shared with them that I might have to return back to Delhi towards month end due to some official reasons. 11 villages out of the 15 villages, out-rightly said that they want to continue with the collective movement as they have started seeing the benefits at the village level collective sale itself and now they have realized how they can collectively do the business but since this is a new path, they need support for a year atleast. One person commented “we were potential seeds lying in deep mud created by existing market systems, and now your team has taken us out of mud, cleaned the seed and now when we are ready for plantation, you cannot leave without putting us in soil and watering us till we are capable enough to face the wrath of nature on our own as a new plant”.

My professional ethics was in question. I was in dilemma if organization has decided will I be able to continue the work?. But Will it be morally and professionally right on my part to leave these villages in between? Should I not give a last try? Should I leave just because the person from Mayurbhanj who had requested me to stay here, 4-5 months back has backed out  due to reasons which to my understanding are unjustified and immoral (if I had bowed to the request of that person it would have been the biggest wrong I would have done to the cooperatives)? Will my escape  not mean that I am also no different from the lot who just performs the “said” work even if s/he feels that there is a need of extra bit for the people for whom we claim to work for? Should I care only for my ‘career’ and take very ‘safe’ decisions? If I take a decision which is good only for self, do I have a right to stay and work in the development sector? Lastly Will I ever be able to call myself a true IRMAn, if I escape?

I didn’t have an answer and  in such situations I often get back to  “guiding statement” of Mr. M.K. Gandhi which I had used when I decided to leave the promising career with General Motors. The statement says “"I will give you a talisman. Whenever you are in doubt, or when the self becomes too much with you, apply the following test. Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man [woman] whom you may have seen, and ask yourself, if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him [her]. Will he [she] gain anything by it? Will it restore him [her] to a control over his [her] own life and destiny? In other words, will it lead to swaraj [freedom] for the hungry and spiritually starving millions? Then you will find your doubts and yourself melt away."

As I had shared  at the time of my relocation to Mayurbhanj that I don’t claim that experiment will necessary be successful but I don’t want it to become unsuccessful because of reasons which Almighty has bestowed within my control.  And I think things are still in the domain where I can and I must give a try. I have decided to continue with the experiment of Mayurbhanj.

Some of my friends and professors have offered financial support through which I can meet the expenditure of the two field staff, till any institutional funding comes in. I am looking towards some suitable job in bhubaneswar/kolkata/jamshedpur (nearest towns to Mayurbhanj) so that I manage my expenses on my own and on weekends come down to Mayurbhanj and support the two field staff.

इरादा मन में ठान कर रखना, 

दुआओं का दामन थाम कर चलना,

ऊंचाई से गिरकर जमीन तक आने में जो वक़्त मिलेगा ,

उस वक़्त में गिर कर टूटने से पहले फिर एक नयी उड़ान पर चलना.

फिर एक नयी उड़ान

इरादा मन में ठान कर रखना, 

दुआओं का दामन थाम कर चलना,

ऊंचाई से गिरकर जमीन तक आने में जो वक़्त मिलेगा ,

उस वक़्त में गिर कर टूटने से पहले फिर एक नयी उड़ान पर चलना.

मकसद मिलेगा इस उम्मीद का दीपक जला कर रखना,

आंधी तेज चले फिर भी छोटे से हाथों में  दीपक बचा कर रखना ,

बुझना और जलना जीत के दीपक की नियति है, 

जीत का दीपक बुझ जाए फिर भी उम्मीद के दीपक से नयी लौ को जला कर रखना .

डगर नहीं होगी आसान ये जान कर रखना,

कर्तव्यों की लड़ाई होगी घनी ये पहचान कर रखना,

डगर यदि नहीं छूटी कर्तव्यों की लड़ी नहीं टूटी,

तो इतिहास के स्वर्णिम  पन्नों पर अपनी पहचान को पहचान कर रखना .

 

क्यूंकि मै एक आम आदमी हूँ

स्ट्रीट लाइट पर लगा है बल्ब पर जलते उसे कभी देख नहीं सकता;

जलाती है भीड़ राह खडी बसों को पर उन्हें जलने से रोक नहीं सकता ;

दुखी होना फिर भूल जाना मेरी फितरत है;

क्यूंकि मै एक आम आदमी हूँ.

रिश्वत खिलाना गलत है पर बिना रिश्वत दिए फ़ाइल बढ़ते देख नहीं सकता ;

आय चाहे लाखों में हो पर मौका मिले तो अपने आपको बी.पी. एल दिखाने से रोक नहीं सकता;

गलत को चलने देना फिर कभी खुद  गलत करना मेरी फितरत है;

क्यूंकि  मै  एक आम आदमी हूँ.

सिस्टम गन्दा  है ये हर चाय की दूकान पर सुनता हूँ पर कुछ कर नहीं सकता;

इंतज़ार है किसी सुभाष किसी भगतसिंह के आने का सिस्टम साफ़ करने  के लिए पर तब तक अपने हाथ गंदे कर नहीं सकता;

गंदगी को कोसना फिर उसी में सो जाना मेरी फितरत है;

क्यूंकि  मै  एक आम आदमी हूँ.

देश को बिकते देखता हूँ पर कुछ कर नहीं सकता;

मल्टीनेशनल कंपनी के बड़े बड़े प्रजेक्ट को मैनेज करता हूँ पर  देश के लिए समय दे नहीं सकता ;

आम आदमी का चोला पहनकर देश को कोसना मेरी फितरत है;

क्यूंकि  मै  एक आम आदमी हूँ.

किसको शीश झुकाऊं मै?

किसको शीश झुकाऊं मै?

घर से चौराहे तक सड़क मिले न मिले;

चौराहे पर बहनजी कि प्रतिमा जरुर पाऊं मै;

किसको शीश झुकाऊं मै?

जब से होश सम्हाला सुनता आया चारा और हवाला;

पहले लाखों का पता नहीं चलता था अब मेरे देश के अरबों के खो जाने की अर्जी किससे फिर लगाऊं  मै ;

किसको शीश झुकाऊं मै?

गाँधी को कभी टोपी क्या तन पर पूरा कपडा पहने नहीं देखा; 

पर उनके बेहरूपी नाम और टोपी वालों को कैसे कर दूँ अनदेखा ;

जो कर दे बेध इन दोनों में वो सीबीआई कहाँ से लाऊं मै; 

किसको शीश झुकाऊं मै?

शुक्र है साठ वर्ष में गाँव न सही बिजली के खम्भे कम से कम शहरों में पहुँच गए;

पर उनमे बिजली लाने कि आस किससे लगाऊं मै;

किसको शीश झुकाऊं मै?

कोई जाती के नाम पर लडवाता है और कोई धर्म के नाम पर ;

अंग्रेजों की बोई इस जेहरीली खेती को किससे  मिट्वाउन  मै;

किसको शीश झुकाऊं मै?

अखबार तो एडवरटाईज़मेन्ट से भरे पड़ें हैं;

अपनी शिकायत फिर कहाँ छपवाऊं मै; 

किसको शीश झुकाऊं मै?

आस तो थोड़ी सी थी इस देश के पढ़े लिखे नव-जवानों से ;

पर अच्छी डिग्री पाकर पैसे की दौड़ छोड़ देश के लिए कुछ करने की विनती किसे सुनाऊं मै 

किसको शीश झुकाऊं मै? 

 

कैसे

सपनो की डगर छोड़ पैसों की दौड़ लगाऊं कैसे;

रेगिस्तान में फिर भी चल दूँ पर किनारों में कश्ती तैराऊं कैसे;

आसमान में उंचा उड़ने का ठाना है तो धरती पर घर बनाऊं कैसे ;

गिरने से नहीं लगता है डर फिर स्थिरता की बैसाखी पर चल जाऊं कैसे ;

कुछ कर गुजरने का खुद  को खुद  से किया वादा है उस वादे  से मुकर  जाऊं  कैसे  ;

आज फिर वही सवाल आ खड़ा हुआ है;

गैरों का  सवाल हों तो जवाब भी दूँ अपनों के सवालों को दौहराउन कैसे ;

सपनो की डगर छोड़ पैसों की दौड़ लगाऊं कैसे.


came back from home today, plausibly the lines above reflect the current state of mind due to discussions which happened last week

The Common Man

Was bit free today and was thinking about what next in Disha. While looking into some stuff on similar past experiments, opened up my hard drive and found a documentary movie on the common man's life and watched it 7th time.  Every time I watch this movie on his life or read an article on him, a shivering  appears from within. Don't know why is it but this 'common man' had always been an underlying inspiration for me in whatever I do or I plan to do.

Whenever the journey appears tiring,  I read about the relentless struggle of almost 3 decades for what he stood for. The struggle which many of us think we know, but its certainly much beyond that what we know. We possibly weave our thoughts on one dimension of what we see but he weaved all possible dimensions in what we fondly recall as struggle for freedom of the country. Without any 'adarsh' reverence or citing him as the reason for freedom of the country, I see him more as a human-being and fall in love with the amazing creation of Almighty.

Whenever thoughts appear to encroach my steps and question my ability to take up those steps or the selfish pursuits try to drag my steps back from the journey, his words time and again come for rescue. NCERT text books often quoted these wonderful words as his "talisman" which I have tried to use in judging all my steps whenever in dilemma.

Whenever I start feeling lonely and the path appears dingy, his writings and unending faith on not fearing anything except 'doing wrong to someone' give the courage from within. Other day after returning back from Siriapala village, one of the field staff person "Divakarji" was asking me how I got into this stuff of 'apparent' rural development. I couldn't reply ( or may be I am tired of replying same question), but perhaps he already knew from Bibek about my past in the automobile industry and was therefore keen to know why the change happened? Did parents not oppose, Did I not fear? I told him, I feel good in what I am doing and till the time I am not doing wrong I don't fear anything. And then I realized, what impact this common man actually casted on subconscious thinking 

This man of weak physique, without a charisma on his face, with no royal/political backdrop, a below average student and an unsuccessful lawyer possibly will continue to amaze me with an example what a 'common man' can do. No hats off, no wonderful remarks just amazed.


PS: For those who don;t know this common man, world calls him by the name of Mahatma Gandhi

Don't Just

Don't just follow what everyone says

No one knows you better for things at which your heart weighs

Don't just speak for yourself

Speak for someone whom you find below the shelf

Don't  just work for money

It's important but certainly not absolute happiness gunny

Don't just live the life till your heart beat is alive

Touch some lives so that you remain alive in the heart beat of those lives

Don't just read this and feel contented

What I wrote is nothing new you must have read it many times though unintended

The dot became a line only when it began the journey called walk

Let a new line begin with the dot of our life stopping the talk and taking the walk. 

When problems try to turn us down

When problems try to turn us down;

Some of us put up our nose and frown;

Frown over what situation we are in;

As if  we are the only one's with bad luck linked in;

But there were people in history who didn't put up their nose;

Instead they put up their sleeves and gave a pose;

The pose that they are tougher than the toughest situations;

Irrespective of the existing resource and capability permutations;

It's nothing but a matter of choice;

And so don't put up nose but put up the sleeves and feel the rejoice;

Rejoice will prevail even if you don't come out with victory;

Because it's not the victory which always creates history!

Fear

When the journey towards one's dreams- one's aspiration begins, it doesn't begin with thunder. It's always a slow movement of air which keeps on accumulating in a small space called 'heart' keeps churning within thin long domains called 'veins' echoing the ear drums from within, putting the sight off and vision on. This journey is unique because it trespasses the fear of fear, there is nothing in the world which can penetrate into that small space of heart and break open the thin long veins where dream flows across. Joy and Struggle which accompany the traveler move him forward away from the past and move him backward away from the future. The traveler starts living in "now". Fear needs a time dimension to exist. It exists before a fighter begins his fight, it might exist after fighter stops his fight, but it can never exist while fighter is on the fight. Travelers who travel in the direction of their dreams are constant fighters, they don;t have a past where they didn't fight and they don't have a future where the fight will stop, they move in constant state of fight. Vanishing of this time dimension creates revolutionaries, freedom fighters, poets, writers, nation builders and every uncommon common being who is unique in his own field. Time keeps moving from past to future, but the traveler doesn't feel this passage. The dreamer lives only in one dimension and that is now, the dreamer sees only  one thing and that is his dream, every nerve,every neuron and every heartbeat just says one thing and that's the sound of dream. No matter what circumstances are, no matter how strong is the fear of failure, no matter how unrealistic and irrational each step appears, the traveler doesn't stop. External circumstances can push the physical person out but it cannot put off the spirit, the will to move on. Fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of being left lonely vanishes when one starts this journey. If at all there is fear, the fear is of most of us not leaving the shore of fear and starting this journey.


Have we left the shore of fear?